5 Reasons You’re Feeling Pain During Sex — And What to Do About It

There can be many reasons behind painful sex. Most people do not experience pain during sex, but those who experience it know it can be painful. We have listed 5 reasons you could feel pain during sex and what you can do about it.

  1. You’re not savouring the moment enough

Pain during sex may be an indication of an ailment, but for most women, the most common culprit is a lack of lubrication.

Your vagina naturally produces lubrication when you are sexually stimulated. However, natural lubrication does indeed take its sweet time to be adequate enough for penetrative sex.

If you are not savouring enough of the moment, lubrication may not be enough, and then friction between the penis and vagina becomes painful. With that said, don’t skim on foreplay and do enjoy taking your sweet time.

Vaginal dryness is usually felt during penetration. Inadequate moistness could increase friction, which result in pain and discomfort.

So how does a dry vagina feels? Well, it could itch or burn. Sometimes also, it may be sore and you may need to pee more often.

Per a Cleveland Clinic publication, patience during foreplay is essential. Ensure that you are fully aroused before your partner attempts penetrative sex.

Savour the moment and be sensuous with your partner. This is a moment to be kissing and touching a lot. Let them explore your body and stimulate you plenty before penetrative sex even happens.

When you already feel wet enough, then you can guide your partner. Tell them without words that it is time for them to enter your sacred temple.

  1. You guys are going too fast

In a different scenario, if you are often feeling pain during sex, it could be due to the fact that you are going too fast.

Some men may have the tendency of going too fast simply because men are generally sexually aroused a lot faster than women. The female body does indeed take a while to get to the same level of hotness as its male counterpart.

If you think this is the scenario for you, you don’t have to put up with your partner’s lack of sensibility. Simply communicate this: that you feel their rhythm is too fast and that allows too little time for your body to catch up.

Then, after they have understood the root of the issue (your discomfort during sex) let them know that it is better to take things a little slower. Men usually don’t get that kind of stuff without proper verbal communication.

  1. You’re somewhere else mentally

Another reason you could be lacking lubrication is that you are mentally in a different world. Instead of being fully absorbed in the present moment and engaging with your partner, your mind is busy thinking about something else.

The female brain has a tendency of getting caught up in many thoughts, so then you could be juggling a lot of tasks at the same time.

Sometimes though, anxiety, depression and body image worry could cloud your mind to such an extent that you don’t seem prepared for sex.

Relationship issues could also cause mental stress, thus preventing your form relaxing you pelvis muscles.

Under such circumstances, you may suffer from painful sex, per an article in the Mayo Clinic website publication.

And if any of the tasks that you are thinking about are worrying you, there is no way you could even bring yourself back to the present moment to focus on your partner.

Then you could be totally unresponsive to their sexual stimulation. If this is your case, you need to try to relax your mind and make a list of priorities so you can finish your tasks more effectively, as well as efficiently.

That way, they don't occupy your mind all the time.

  1. His stuff is just too big

In some cases, some really small women are blessed with partners who have a really big penis. The sheer size could indeed cause penetrative sex to be painful.

In such a case, a lot of lube may be needed and you need to spend a good amount of time on foreplay. This will ensure a smooth entrance.

However, if your partner's big size hits your cervix all the time (and this can be very painful) you just need to fix your position.

A position in which your partner can only penetrate you in a shallow manner is super helpful in this scenario. If you can handle the hurdle, standing sex is also usually helpful in this case.

Also, when starting with penetrative sex, let your partner insert only the tip of their penis so that your vagina slowly becomes larger to accommodate their entire phallus.

  1. You actually hate your partner

Lastly, if sex is always painful and not making you feel happy, and you know you aren’t particularly sick or anything, it may be the case that you actually hate the person you are with.

Sex should be consensual and agreed upon by two people who like each other. If you are in a relationship but your partner makes you feel dissatisfied, you will find it really hard to enjoy something as intimate as sex with them.

Of course, if you have been having an argument and that makes you harbour negative feelings, this should be over once you work through your issue.

Another reason for painful sex is sexual abuse. Some men tend to act out some scenes they have watched in the pornography.

In case your partner insists on performing certain moves and styles that hurt, even after you discussing these issues, then you’ll despise him, per a Mayo Clinic publication.

However, if you simply really hate your partner and can’t stand the idea of being intimate with them, to the point of sex being painful all the time, you need to break up, alright. Sex should always be fun and pleasant.

You don’t have to put up with bad sex.

To conclude, it was observed that several reasons could be the reason behind pain during sex. Women who experience this go through physical and emotional stress, but reflecting on these reasons might help you find your cause.


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